Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ladies...How to help yourself or your girlfriend from keeping on the same path to nowhere with 'Jerk' from Loserville

( Words from the personal experience of my FRIEND "Daydreamer", check out her blog for the whole story: http://daydreamerscloud.blogspot.com/ )

So how can you help yourself or your girlfriends from keeping on the same path to Nowhere with 'Jerk' from Loserville??

1. Tell her it IS her that caused the mess.With this shock she'll be able the thoroughly analyze her screw ups. Why let your girl keep thinking nagging, pouting and bitching are ok?!!! Women are the best at placing the blame on 'him'. And yes, he probably is as bad as she says BUT why does she keep dating him- over and over again. Hmmmmm. Make her see her flaws, insecurities, 'Daddy Issues' or otherwise. She and the new HE will thank you for it later.
2. Encourage her to take up a hobby or go out ALONE.Call me crazy but there is nothing better than going to the movies or out to eat ALONE! It's so refreshing to see/ eat what YOU want when you want to. Any theater or restaurant is always happy to seat a party of one. :-) This will force her to keep her life balanced. Therefore when the new HE comes along he'll have to fit into her schedule instead of the other way around. Men love women with lives.
3. Keep her AWAY from We! TV and Oxygen Wedding shows. As a current addict myself, these types of shows don't help. All they do is become a constant reminder of the 'Loser'. Until she is OK with watching without thinking of her own wedding with 'Loser' can she be allowed to watch.
4. AFTER ALL of this....It is OK to tell her it is HIS LOSS AND NOT HERS! Because honestly and truly it will be. She will be secure in herself to see why she can do Bad all By Herself instead of wallowing and being needy for the next 'Ass' from Loserville. :-D

Lesson: Until we can stand ourselves no one else will be able to. Not only that but also due to the circumstances of life, we don't want her to become HER. As dear Champ describes, no one wants a HER. Ouch.

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Daydreamer,

Great advice and thank you for sharing your story with my friends. Do know I am here to aid you in your journey from Loserville to Reality!

Quick comments on each section above:
1. Great stray away from the constant rhetoric of "all men are dogs"! Though I will say, blame can sometimes be one sided, but which side if not both is not always agreed upon. It is always good to fully analyze your failed relationships to completely move on and close that chapter, as well as learn from why it failed to better yourself and prepare you for the future "HE". Be honest with yourself and analyze with your brain and not your heart.
2.Keeping busy is a great way to take your mind off of the ex, and keep from back sliding into his drama. Though be sure to not get caught up in doing it because of him. Its an excellent opportunity to re-connect with yourself and passions in life, but over time make sure its all about you. Be sure not to be "Miss Too Independent" with your new carefree busy schedule. Do learn to Love yourself again, but not so caught up in "Me" that the new "HE" is pushed away.
3.These shows are detrimental even to the woman in a happy relationship, lol. Yes, do stay away. And general advice, NEVER PRESSURE A MAN INTO A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE. Not worth the "happiness" you desire which is now put in high risk for failure. Allow a man to move at a comfortable pace. (though lets not be silly friends, adults "dating" for 5 years or living together for 3, with not even the talk of "marriage" or future...somethings wrong)
4. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!! No one will love you like you need to be loved, nor will you be able to appreciate that love until you are completely happy and in love with yourself!

Your...Male Best Friend

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